Long overdue

Finally! After a couple of months worth of exhaustion and procrastination, I have finally been able to revise my research protocol, and now I don't have to hide from my adviser anymore! :D Now the challenge lies in maintaining this momentum that I seem to have gained for myself..

This has been a grueling past couple of months for me to say the very least. Being SHO and ICU at the same time during duty nights for two straight months can suck the happiness out of anyone, not to mention a considerable amount of energy and zest for life. :P

Finally I have broken free, and am now happily tucked away at the sleep lab for an entire month where I have minimal interactions with the outside world and can finally have a bit of peace and quiet..

I've recently been diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea, a diagnosis which I have long suspected anyway. What remains to be seen is the severity which would be revealed when my poluysomnogram results come out. Sleep Medicine is a fascinating science, and I never thought that there would be more to sleep than just, uh, sleeping..

The implications of this OSA diagnosis however, means that I may have to invest in a CPAP device which would greatly aid in improving my sleep quality. I'm a little apprehensive though, since theses devices tend to cost a pretty penny, although the Sleep fellow says that it costs about as much as the latest iPhone.. Problem is, I'm not really fond of buying top of the line devices, so the price is still gonna hurt my wallet badly.. :(

Putting things in perspective though, I guess I'm obligated to keep myself healthy since I intend to live a full and happy life with another in the future ;), and I'll be damned if  I'd let something like this get in the way. :)

I've also been thinking a lot about purchasing a vehicle for the family. We've never really had a car we can call our own since I was a child (since we've never had the finances to do so). I'm not thinking high-end here, since it's really going to be impractical from my standpoint. I just need a reliable vehicle to get us from point A to B without any hitch and would seat my aging parents comfortably. You see, I notice my parents now seem to have a difficult time getting in and out of sedans.. but a regular SUV is out of the question due to the prohibitive cost.. Sigh.. We'll just have to wait and see what develops... :/

Growing up is really expensive business.. I guess I consider myself lucky that I still do not have kids to worry about. Seeing my bros with their families often leaves me a little bothered as to whether I can deal with all of that once it does come my way eventually,,

It has been raining like crazy lately, and all that without a definite storm in the country's area of responsibility, with the threat of massive flooding always a grim possibility. In fact, I already encountered a bit of flooding the other day as I was making my way home.. Good thing I was able to find a place to stop and wait it out.. I hope the days that follow won't be as bad..

From Russia with love...

Just a quick hit before I return to my regularly scheduled programming..

I just saw on the blogger control panel that this blog has recently registered a whopping 252 hits from Russia!

So.. uh... hi to all my Russian readers out there. :)

Please do drop me a line. It'd be great to hear from you. I can't speak or read your language though :/

(*though I think the hits may not really be legit and are just part of a greater scam scheme or something..)

Antisocial

There are days when I neither require nor desire human interaction. This is one of those days..

Being around other people can be such a chore, and it makes it even tougher when the very nature of your work requires engaging with others on a regular basis.. :/ 

It is yet another duty day, and by the way things are shaping up, I think I'm in for on hell of a ride..

I had a brief conversation last night with my Other Half (Hi!), and she told me that she was feeling pretty much the same way about work and what we are doing with our lives.. Unfortunately I had nodded off before I could give her a satisfactory reply.. (sorry!)

I wish I knew all the answers, but I was just as lost as she was.. Even now, with the present state of rhings in my life, I sometimes drift back to question the path I chose to follow so many years ago..

It really doesn't help that I'm not really fond of the people I'm presently working with.. Sad to say, I can even barely consider some of them as my friends. They are all just co-workers to me, some of which I may have a better understanding with than most. Unfortunately, lasting friendships does not seem to be in the discussion.. They are just really too different for me to be able to form an inrimate bond of friendship with.

I hate to use this line, but mom was right. In life, you will only meet a handful of individuals who you will consider as your true friends, and I'm glad I have my BNO boys for that.

Sigh.. Other people are just so irritating at times, and even more annoying is the fact that they have absolutely no insight that they are the root of the problem and are either too stubborn and set intheir wicked ways or too goddamned stupid to change for the better. Maybe its also due to advanced age, i dunno. I've pretty much given up figuring these people out. I've already removed the Facebook application since I was tired of all the shallowness and superficiality that is on display. I desire to have real things, real interactions, realexperiences, all of which is according to my design.

That is something I will not be able to accomplish until I am rid of training already, and the following 8 months can't go by fast enough.. :/

Compulsion

For some strange reason, I feel compelled to blog today. It's as though I'm driven by a need to jot down something profound..

Nah.. :P

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Our new president had his first Stae Of The Nation Address (SONA) yesterday, which to me seemed like a pleasant departure from what we see year in and year out, which is pretty much more of the same detached nonesense that the one in charge spout out. It was really different this time around. Although there were still shades of a well-prepared speech, our prisident made a lot of ad-libs and cracked a lot of jokes, making light of the situation and delighting both the atendees and viewers alike. He also gave the militants their free space to approach the venue, and the rallyists in turn did their part by not causing any trouble and even had pleasant interactions with the police, including the police chief himself.

Changwe has truly come to the Philippines, and I hope this will be all for the good of everyone (excluding the bad guys of course. They'll be dead :P)

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I've been contemplating getting a vehicle for quite some time now, since the one we've been using has been suffering through a plague of various maladies associated with old age..

The market is presently rife with soooo many options despite my efforts to narrow it down given my very low budget..

I never knew car research could be so exhausting..

But I've had a recent breakthrough, like just a few minutes ago, which has helped me narrow things down by a great deal.. ;)

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I should be going home in a few minutes, unfortunately there will be a Webinar (Web Seminar) later at the office, so we can't leave just yet.. :/Oh well, at least I get free grub..

Just the same..

I'm spending a bit of quiet time here at the hospital library, since I'm already done with my rounds and the callroom suffers from lack of any semblance of air cobditioning. :P

I often find myself in this kind of funk when I had just experienced a wonderful weekend in the days that preceeded.. Having had the rare opportunity to spend a full day's worth of quality time will always give anyone an emotional high.. Sadly, the crash that follows seems to get worse and worse as the experiences becone more pleasant.. Its kinda like the allusion of "the higher you fly, the further you crash".. :(

I'm personally sick and tired of this emotional roller coaster that I go through whenever I get some much-needed R&R only to return to a situation I am no longer really happy with.. :/ I really do wish things would seem a bit brighter, but I'm at a loss with how I could make things work.. Its no fun going to work everyday with an apparent cloud of gloom over your head.. I guess this stems from my general  dissatisfaction  aboit life and it's every 3- or 4-day cycle... Or maybe the SH-ICU duties for two straight months have been really getting to me na.. :( I'm sorry to makeanother badtrip post, as I know I have promised to try and be more positive in the blog, but the problems remain, and sometimes grow in complexity and weight, which defeats my attempts at supressing them..

Sigh.. Things just seem to be so depressing right now, and I have absolutely no idea why... :(

I miss writing..

I really do.. Now more than ever, as it seems..

I find this quite odd, as I have gone for months at a time very no creative output to speak of, and it really didn't affect me as much..

I'm trying to make some radical changes in my life, so I could live life better, so to speak. But as everyone knows, change is hard, and habits are sometimes hard to let go, especially if you find pleasure in them..

I'm mainly talking about my love for mobile gaming through the use of my ever trusty iPad which has been in my possession for roughly 3-4 years now..

Though I have made some strides with my mobile problem, which is probably responsible for the deterioration in my eyesight, as I have successfully deleted my Facebook app and have resisted the temptation to reinstall it and go back to waste much of my time online. It was such a drastic change for me, but one I do not regret the very least. I still keep my messenger app handy for my chat group with the boys and my dear ones, but the temptation for easy access to the time sink called Facebook is long gone. :P

Now I find myself with time to do other things like continuing my Xbox NBA career, or catch up on my readings (since i have more than a dozen novels still lined up on my reading list)

I also miss writing, my main creative outlet for self-expression, and now with more and more time on my hands, I hope to be able to do this (and other things) more and more. :D  

Sigh..

China, why you so selfish?