:|

Went to the baptism of my first-ever godchild yesterday. It was a real honor that my good buddy Ced chose me to be his kumpare. :D Oh, and it was great to see that his folks were happy to see me as well after so long. I guess childhood friends are the best, especially if their folks know you as well 

After the baptism, there was the usual picture taking with the ninongs/ninangs, etc.. I realized that I was having trouble smiling, not due to some motor defect, but I felt that I was devoid of happiness for some reason. I just wasn't that happy.. As I munched on the thought while waiting for the mass later on, I realized that I never felt so empty in my entire life.. I find it more difficult now to find happiness in the little things, which normally makes my life run a little smoother and makes things seem a bit more bearable. To put things in perspective, I remember something the then-incoming Chief Cardiology Fellow Dr. Angie Anacleto told me: "You used to be such a Jolly person, Bong.. Anong nangyari sayo?.." For the first time in so long, I was at a loss for words to explain how I felt..

A part of me wants to explain away by saying that I left my pleasant demeanor behind in Cardinal.. but it feels as though I've already been drained long before I even left..

Sigh..