Doctors get stressed out too, you know!

Ok, so this is a rant. But i do what i can to survive, to prevent myself from burning out. Other people go out at night, have drinks, and indulge in all sorts of other "nightlife" activities. I don't do that. In fact, i would much rather curl up in bed and hide from civilization for the next week or so if given the chance.

Truth be told, I'm not really a very sociable person. Sure, i know how to interact socially with others like a normal guy, but constant exposure to complete strangers kind of takes its toll on me. Call me socially withdrawn, but i guess that's the truth. I don't mind clinic consults and whatnot, because you can go home and be yourself and be alone with your thoughts. That's why i really have a hard time at the ER. The physical and mental demands of going on 24+ hours duty is bad enough, added to the miscellaneous stresses that different personalities of the patients and watchers bring, and you have a coxktail for an early meltdown..

Part of me kind of wishes that I did not have my fellowship here, where the fellows are still the frontliners due to the absence of medical residents who are supposed to man these areas in other less specialized institutions. That's the price of quality training I guess. The policies may seem a bit heavy, but that's the way it has been since the inception of the institution..

I guess its because I'm already a little tired of everything. Admittedly, I'm not as young as I used to, and my endurance for pulling all-nighters seem to have dramatically decreased. Add that to health concerns which may already be cropping up as I age, and you have a very tired physician desperately trying to hold on with the hope that the end will come soon and that tommorrow will be a better day..

This is what happens when you don't have wifi and have gotten tired ofyour offline games..

I find it really sad that there are only a handful of iPad games that are really worthwhile. I mean, one can only play so much Zombie Tsunami or CSR Racing before his mind yearns for something new a d different. I used to have that with SimCity. It was a well-structured time sink of a game with an acceptable level of complexity and just the right amount of the building time element to keep you coming back for more, especially since its fre and plays offline. But I digress..

The point of this post is one of those "Favorite Lists" which I will make up on the fly as I go along. So here goes..

*WARNING: an accepteble level of geekiness may be required to comprehend what I'm gonna be writing about..

1. Favorite Autobot - Wheeljack

2. Favorite Decepticon - Soundwave (everyone loves Soundwave!)

3. Favorite Gestalt - Bruticus (even though he has a soft spot in the back)

4. Favorite Anime (all-time) - Taiho Shichauzo (its the first one that I religiously watched from start to finish on TV, and was fanboying so much that I was inspired to write my own Episode synopses before there was wikpedia))

5. Favorite Saiyan - Vegeta

6. Favorite Dragonball Villain - Cell

7. Favorite Seirin player - Junpei Hyuga 

8. Favorite member of the Generation of Miracles - Aomine

9. Favorite Serin opponent (team) - Kaijo

10. Favorite Spirit Detective (YYH) - Yusuke

11. Favorite Shohoku player - Kaede Rukawa

12. Favorite SlamDunk opponent (team) - Shoyo

13. Favorite SlamDunk opponent (player) - Akari Sendoh

14. Favorite Giant Robot (animated) - Voltron (Lions)

15. Favorite Voltron Lion - Red

16. Favorite Giant Robot (Live action) - Mask Robot (Maskman)

17. Favorite GI Joe - Sgt. Slaughter :P

18. Favorite COBRA - Cobra B.A.T.

19. Favorite Visionary (Good or Evil) - Witterquick

20. Facvorite Centurion - Max Ray

21. Favorite Thundercat - Panthro (he drives the friggin' Thundertank!)

Being Grateful

Downtime is such a prized resource, even moreso when duty at the Emergency Room.

I'm niow starting my fifth month of fellowship. While it hasn't been all fun and games, everything seems to be going well. :)

I wanted to take this time out to reflect on stuff that I really did not have the time for these past months since I was still adjusting to the new demands of the training program..

Looking back at where I came from in order to get to where I am now, I can't help but be grateful for having been trained at my mother institution for the following reasons:

- it made me tougher and more confident on managing patients on my own, which came in really handy when I was handling service patients as a fellow.

- it taught me how to be REALLY patient with certain kinds of people, especially patient's relatives.

- it taught me an entire truckload of clinical skills/procedures that I would otherwise not have developed as a resident in a private institution.

- it taught me to perfect my mastery of the vernacular so that I would be able to explain better to patients and relatives, and be understood fully and clearly.

- it allowed me to develop some semblance of leadership with which I could use to get things done in certain situations where cooperation is needed.

- it taught me to play nice and get along with the other services, no matter how annoying they were. Referrals are still referrals.

- it taught me to be a good junior, and a firm but fair senior.

- it taught me how to decide quickly and decisively in certain clinical situations in order to minimize the loss of life.

It taught me a lot about responsibilty and being accountable for one's actions.

- lastly, it taught me that diplomacy and politics, though as repugnant as it may seem sometimes, is necessary in order to protect the interests of your people.

Wow, that was a long list.. I'm actually quite surprised with how it turned out, since it just seemed to flow spontaneously from my mind.

That should be enough for the moment. I think I hear activity outside.. :/