Fed Up

I didn't go to work today.

I'm so fed up with all the crap I deal with at the hospital that I really had to just get away.

It wasn't always like this.. About a year ago, I was introduced to this medium-sized hospital that gave public service and had an IM deparment that I thought was worth a damn.. I eventually became a part of them, and worked really hard to do my part and my share of the work.

It was actually fun for a while. I was learning a lot interacting with my own patients, making them well, and seeing them through to their eventual release from the hospital.

I was trained in doing various procedures and other interventions that may have seemed to be less than ideal, but given the situtaion the hospital and patients were in, wasn't really half-bad. I learned how to compromise, to work with a limited armamentarium just to help someone get well. Heck, I even had ample time to study, which was a new thing for me since the places I've been to before didn't really cut much slack.

But then things started to get weird, then nasty.

The seniors started to begin behaving erratically, although I'm not sure if that was really their character from before. New boneheaded policies were being instituted left and right. Ample time to do work was being cut down bit by painful bit. They demand results, but give you very little time to achieve it. Eventually 3 of our number left, making the individual workloads much more heavier. Then they start piling up more shit on us. I'm very resentful whenever they speak of "during our time, we were able to do this and that..", because when I asked people who have been around longer, the old hospital (we're currently working in a newer, larger facility) had roughly half the number of patients as compared to the present. So what may have seemed to be ample time for them in those days is just a laughable tick of the clock when you take the present patient load into consideration.

The thing that pisses me off the most are the policies governing the payward. t was bad enough that the responsibilities of handling the payward was turned over to us (when traditionally it wasn't).

They're actually a strange group.. One hides behind the excuse that she's pregnant to start bitching all over the place (especially to me, and I really have no idea what I did to deserve such treatment). You have another one who is chronically angry and gets ticked off at the slightest sneeze. Another one who seems to have a very unstable personality and is able to lash very-much uncalled for personal attacks at the same time seeming very calm (kind of like the Joker) who also likes to converse in some strange baby-talk which seems unbefitting of a senior (or even of a grown adult), and another one who seems very understanding and kind but is really just like the rest of them when you turn your backs. When they all get together, that's when they are at their worst. They also love to suck up to the consultants build themselves up at the same time making every one else look bad. The speak of leaving after the year ends yet some want to stay behind in a fit of self-righteousness to "lead the hopeless residents who will be left behind". The leadership is really a kind of a joke. I'm sick of being compliant and blindly obedient. I don't have something to believe in or something to rally behind...

It's almost September, and their time with us is almost up. But the damage has been done. As they try to make things more and more complicated, people began screwing up, making things worse and worse. It's a viscious cycle, and only they have the power to break it, but they won't.. Such a waste.. I thought that my stay in this hospital would be better than the rest.. I guess that's what happens when you have a purely female leadership.. No offense to the ladies reading this blog ha?

I guess that's all for now. I'll see if I can muster up enough "angry" to post another scathing review