Doctors get stressed out too, you know!

Ok, so this is a rant. But i do what i can to survive, to prevent myself from burning out. Other people go out at night, have drinks, and indulge in all sorts of other "nightlife" activities. I don't do that. In fact, i would much rather curl up in bed and hide from civilization for the next week or so if given the chance.

Truth be told, I'm not really a very sociable person. Sure, i know how to interact socially with others like a normal guy, but constant exposure to complete strangers kind of takes its toll on me. Call me socially withdrawn, but i guess that's the truth. I don't mind clinic consults and whatnot, because you can go home and be yourself and be alone with your thoughts. That's why i really have a hard time at the ER. The physical and mental demands of going on 24+ hours duty is bad enough, added to the miscellaneous stresses that different personalities of the patients and watchers bring, and you have a coxktail for an early meltdown..

Part of me kind of wishes that I did not have my fellowship here, where the fellows are still the frontliners due to the absence of medical residents who are supposed to man these areas in other less specialized institutions. That's the price of quality training I guess. The policies may seem a bit heavy, but that's the way it has been since the inception of the institution..

I guess its because I'm already a little tired of everything. Admittedly, I'm not as young as I used to, and my endurance for pulling all-nighters seem to have dramatically decreased. Add that to health concerns which may already be cropping up as I age, and you have a very tired physician desperately trying to hold on with the hope that the end will come soon and that tommorrow will be a better day..