----------------------------------------------------------------
I think and worry too much, especially in uncomfortable situations that I get myself into, notably residency and fellowship training.. You see, these things are really just optional.. Nobody really compels you to go into this or that since its no longer part of a school curriculum like clerkship, or a requirement for the physicians licensure exam like the post-graduate internship.
Sigh.. I should really learn to get my head out of my ass when things get rough.. The ER is especially traumatic for me because I am not comfortable with dealing with an endless stream of patients, most of them seeking immediate attention for one reason or another. Its not easy to deal with that because i feel like I run out of compassion too soon.. My only consolation is that it will all be over soon.. (I hope..)
I kind of hate myself because of the mess I'm in, since this was a result of a conscious decision to become a freaking doctor.. 😕 As I have said before, once you realized what a freaking shitstorm it is, you find yourself way too deep into it to turn back and choose another path, which I find kind of unfair.. Other people go through life switching jobs until they find something they can live with eventually. Doctors don't normally have that luxury, unless of course you're filthy stinking rich that you can afford to turn your back on the amount you've spent on your one-way trip through medical education and just start from scratch elsewhere..
I'm normally very eloquent when I'm sad and frustrated.. I guess its due to the fact that have so much to say, and so much emotion to back it up.
A one-way ticket.. Yeah, i think i like that statement..
No comments:
Post a Comment