It's Saturday, and here I am in school... and I'm even in uniform!! :P No, I don't have an extension class, nor did they declare that they were making life even more toxic for us by cutting our weekend in half. :P I just came from the ward where i visited "my" patient. Though I'm still disgruntled with the extra load this module has placed upon us (more than any other subsec for that matter), at least I'm grateful for the chance to be able to go on a solo flight and handle a patient all to myself. :D It's really something else when you do it alone.. Nobody asking questions in an order you wouldn't normally prefer, no more lengthy arguments on physical examination findings, etc.. It's just you, your skills, and the patient before you. It just feels so empowering! Though I know come thursday I'll probably be chewed out by our facilitator for stuff I surely missed or failed to do, at least its been a good learing experience.. (though I wish my learning experience could be a bit more pleasant if our faci would be just a teeny bit nicer to her students.. :P)
I'm beginning to learn how to cope with the multitude of stresses that Med throws our way.. I guess I shouldn't take everything to seriously and just to my best to put up a good and honest effort in everything I do.. though most of the time it's easier said than done.. sigh... I'm just praying I won't get chewed out so much when the time comes..
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Friday, July 15, 2005
2 1/2 hours post prandial...
(What happened?)
Wow, after 10 minutes of furiously typing, I suddenly pressed something by mistake and all that I typed just vanished!!
Anyway, I was ranting about how toxic it is here in med, and how it got a whole lot more toxic due to the addition of an unecessary stressor.. I won't delve into that any more, but it would be enough to say that I feel like a neophyte again... :(
Sometimes I really don't get these doctors.. or the way medical school is conducted..
Some of them expect you to come to the first meeting knowing everything without making errors!! Eh kaya nga medical students pa lang diba? There's supposed to be an allowance for error! They set their expectations very high and if you fall short of that, you're nothing!! :( It's so sad when you think about it.. students who are willing to learn encounter teachers who are unwilling to teach!! It can get so frustrating and discouraging at times..
I understand that Med is supposed to be toxic. Siyempre doctor ka, kelangan madami kang alam 'di ba? But can't the consultants be even just a little bit nicer or more understanding? Kahit konti man lang?? (I'm not talking about the entire faculty here ha.. just a select few who, in my opinion, seem to hate students for what they are..) :(
Now I'm really toying with the idea of quitting.. I've had enough! The load just keeps piling up with no end in sight!! I don't even have time for myself anymore!! :( Every night when I go to bed (usually at 12mn or later) I always wonder when I could get a good nights' rest without worrrying about what's gonna happen the next day or week!! Dammit! I'm living life day by day!! Its so pathetic!! I'm sick and tired of always worrying, always being toxic, always pushing my body, mind, and soul to strive for something I'm not even sure I'll be successful at in the future!!
I never thought I'd wind up like this.. I was always the idealistic one.. I was foolish enough to think that I would never become jaded.. I can only laugh at myself now for being so naive.. In the past, if you'd ask me if I would change the choices I've made in my life, I'd probably tell you "No way! Ano ako, baliw?" Now the situation has changed, and I now think that I must have been crazy to have decided that way in the first place.. I now, more than ever, envy my batchmates who have chosen different paths and lead conderably simpler lives.. All I ever wanted in life was to be happy and have a sense of purpose.. Now I find myself with neither..
Life will go on, and stuff will happen. I'm at the point where there's no turning back.. I just hope I'll be able to do my best with the choices I've made , and live by the ideals that I have set my heart to ..
Make your light brightly shine 'til the journey's end; Luceat, Luceat Lux!!!
Wow, after 10 minutes of furiously typing, I suddenly pressed something by mistake and all that I typed just vanished!!
Anyway, I was ranting about how toxic it is here in med, and how it got a whole lot more toxic due to the addition of an unecessary stressor.. I won't delve into that any more, but it would be enough to say that I feel like a neophyte again... :(
Sometimes I really don't get these doctors.. or the way medical school is conducted..
Some of them expect you to come to the first meeting knowing everything without making errors!! Eh kaya nga medical students pa lang diba? There's supposed to be an allowance for error! They set their expectations very high and if you fall short of that, you're nothing!! :( It's so sad when you think about it.. students who are willing to learn encounter teachers who are unwilling to teach!! It can get so frustrating and discouraging at times..
I understand that Med is supposed to be toxic. Siyempre doctor ka, kelangan madami kang alam 'di ba? But can't the consultants be even just a little bit nicer or more understanding? Kahit konti man lang?? (I'm not talking about the entire faculty here ha.. just a select few who, in my opinion, seem to hate students for what they are..) :(
Now I'm really toying with the idea of quitting.. I've had enough! The load just keeps piling up with no end in sight!! I don't even have time for myself anymore!! :( Every night when I go to bed (usually at 12mn or later) I always wonder when I could get a good nights' rest without worrrying about what's gonna happen the next day or week!! Dammit! I'm living life day by day!! Its so pathetic!! I'm sick and tired of always worrying, always being toxic, always pushing my body, mind, and soul to strive for something I'm not even sure I'll be successful at in the future!!
I never thought I'd wind up like this.. I was always the idealistic one.. I was foolish enough to think that I would never become jaded.. I can only laugh at myself now for being so naive.. In the past, if you'd ask me if I would change the choices I've made in my life, I'd probably tell you "No way! Ano ako, baliw?" Now the situation has changed, and I now think that I must have been crazy to have decided that way in the first place.. I now, more than ever, envy my batchmates who have chosen different paths and lead conderably simpler lives.. All I ever wanted in life was to be happy and have a sense of purpose.. Now I find myself with neither..
Life will go on, and stuff will happen. I'm at the point where there's no turning back.. I just hope I'll be able to do my best with the choices I've made , and live by the ideals that I have set my heart to ..
Make your light brightly shine 'til the journey's end; Luceat, Luceat Lux!!!
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Monday blues and UAAP games
It's the start of a new week, and I'm taking advantage of some down-time to squeeze in an entry while we wait for our prof for Ethics III. I find it amusing when i see that the only subjects which we take through all these three years are Ethics and Prev Med. Oh well..
The past week left me absolutely DRAINED.. so drained that I didn't even have enough energy to blog (or go for a swim for that matter, which made me feel really lousy.. :c ). It was terrible. We had quizzes, cases, and lectures all around! The usual stuff kumbaga.. but the sad thing is, there appears to be no end in sight!!! :c So we just trudge along day by day, always reading, always studying, with the hope that it'll be all worth it someday... For now, I guess we'll just have to suck it up and take whatever Med throws our way.. there is no alternative.. Hoping for a better day just wastes time and productivity.. Damn, I sound so mechanical all of a sudden..
Medicine is hard, there's no question about that. I knew it was gonna be hard, but I guess it's still different when you get to confront it for real.. No, I'm not thinking of quitting.. because I have a vision, and a sense of destiny... that my life is supposed to follow the path laid down before me.. At times I still fail to understand the choices I've made, and yet I go on, motivated by some unseen force which slowly guides me along the course which I tread... I've seen God's hand in many points in my life... especially at those crossroads that would drastically shape the course of my life until the very end.. I just pray that I haven't read the signs wrong for even though God is perfect, I'm not, and the possibility of having misinterpreted everything still hangs over my head.. (but then again, that's why there's the process of discernment, diba?)
I watched the Ateneo-Lasalle game yesterday. :) Took some time off from the madness to watch another part of their epic struggle against each other. :P Tambak!!! Grabe, Jayvee Casio was clicking on all cylinders, hitting a perfect 4-of-4 from 3-point land during the 1st half, helping DLSU to a 30 point lead (50-20)! I was wondering when he would really come out and bring his deadly shooting to the collegiate level. It couldn't have happened at a better time for the Archers. With the departure of leading scorer Mac Cardona, a lot of people were wondering who would pick up the slack and fill the void. Being an undersized team this year, La Salle is expected to rely heavily on their firepower from beyond the arc. They didn't disappoint.. :D Going up against a tall Ateneo lineup with the "Baby Rocket" JC Intal and lanky Japeth Aguilar manning the middle, La Salle was forced to shoot from the outside after consecutive blocks by Aguilar and Intal made the inside a bit too crowded for comfort.
More postgame analysis next time. Class is about to start.. ;)
The past week left me absolutely DRAINED.. so drained that I didn't even have enough energy to blog (or go for a swim for that matter, which made me feel really lousy.. :c ). It was terrible. We had quizzes, cases, and lectures all around! The usual stuff kumbaga.. but the sad thing is, there appears to be no end in sight!!! :c So we just trudge along day by day, always reading, always studying, with the hope that it'll be all worth it someday... For now, I guess we'll just have to suck it up and take whatever Med throws our way.. there is no alternative.. Hoping for a better day just wastes time and productivity.. Damn, I sound so mechanical all of a sudden..
Medicine is hard, there's no question about that. I knew it was gonna be hard, but I guess it's still different when you get to confront it for real.. No, I'm not thinking of quitting.. because I have a vision, and a sense of destiny... that my life is supposed to follow the path laid down before me.. At times I still fail to understand the choices I've made, and yet I go on, motivated by some unseen force which slowly guides me along the course which I tread... I've seen God's hand in many points in my life... especially at those crossroads that would drastically shape the course of my life until the very end.. I just pray that I haven't read the signs wrong for even though God is perfect, I'm not, and the possibility of having misinterpreted everything still hangs over my head.. (but then again, that's why there's the process of discernment, diba?)
I watched the Ateneo-Lasalle game yesterday. :) Took some time off from the madness to watch another part of their epic struggle against each other. :P Tambak!!! Grabe, Jayvee Casio was clicking on all cylinders, hitting a perfect 4-of-4 from 3-point land during the 1st half, helping DLSU to a 30 point lead (50-20)! I was wondering when he would really come out and bring his deadly shooting to the collegiate level. It couldn't have happened at a better time for the Archers. With the departure of leading scorer Mac Cardona, a lot of people were wondering who would pick up the slack and fill the void. Being an undersized team this year, La Salle is expected to rely heavily on their firepower from beyond the arc. They didn't disappoint.. :D Going up against a tall Ateneo lineup with the "Baby Rocket" JC Intal and lanky Japeth Aguilar manning the middle, La Salle was forced to shoot from the outside after consecutive blocks by Aguilar and Intal made the inside a bit too crowded for comfort.
More postgame analysis next time. Class is about to start.. ;)
Sunday, July 3, 2005
Its the weekend! Oh joy!.. =P
Whew! An end to a LOOONG week! I never thought I'd make it through! =P There was like half a dozen quizzes, case discussions left and right, and a handful of presentations stuck in between!! Argh! Toxic!! Add that to another extracurricular source of stress that's been bothering me lately.. but i won't go into details anymore..
I was supposed to go home early today coz of the lighter sked, but instead I hung around to photocopy some materials that I'll be needing for the next week. It was time well spent. I got to bond with some of my classmates who were also there at Asturias hanging out while waiting for their respective xeroxed stuff.
After getting my stuff, I boarded an empty jeep and sped off. Ang mahal na talaga ng fare sa jeep ngayon!! The jeep stopped after a while and there was this really old lady who boarded. Out of the blue, she began to talk to me! She first pointed out to me a kid on the street and said that he was her grandchild, well, actually her nephew's son (she was an old maid daw, and according to her, she wasn't ashamed of saying that to people either! ). I humored her kasi matanda na din nga naman siya, and she's probably looking for someone to talk to, as are most old people. So I just listened with feigned interest as she went on and on about her nephew's kids whom she was supporting. She talked about her family and also said that she was 89 YEARS OLD!! Whoa pare!!! Anyway, things got interesting when she took note of my uniform and asked if I was a medical student. :D Siyempre I said yes diba? So she went on to ask me about her painful"bones" (joints actually) which was strongly indicative of arthritis. I worked my questioning along that line but was unsucessful for the most part because the jeep's stereos were turned up so loud that she couldn't hear me!! :( But I got some measure of satisfaction when I told her my impression and she said that was what the doctors in UST told her. :D Yahoo!!! :)
So now I sit here feeling pretty good about myself not because i was able make the right diagnosis (that's chicken feed, any idiot would know arthritis!), but because I was able to build a good rapport with the patient. I know what I did was nothing much, but we need these little victories in life that boost our morale to keep us going. :)
Its not what you know, its what you BOTHERED to know..
I was supposed to go home early today coz of the lighter sked, but instead I hung around to photocopy some materials that I'll be needing for the next week. It was time well spent. I got to bond with some of my classmates who were also there at Asturias hanging out while waiting for their respective xeroxed stuff.
After getting my stuff, I boarded an empty jeep and sped off. Ang mahal na talaga ng fare sa jeep ngayon!! The jeep stopped after a while and there was this really old lady who boarded. Out of the blue, she began to talk to me! She first pointed out to me a kid on the street and said that he was her grandchild, well, actually her nephew's son (she was an old maid daw, and according to her, she wasn't ashamed of saying that to people either! ). I humored her kasi matanda na din nga naman siya, and she's probably looking for someone to talk to, as are most old people. So I just listened with feigned interest as she went on and on about her nephew's kids whom she was supporting. She talked about her family and also said that she was 89 YEARS OLD!! Whoa pare!!! Anyway, things got interesting when she took note of my uniform and asked if I was a medical student. :D Siyempre I said yes diba? So she went on to ask me about her painful"bones" (joints actually) which was strongly indicative of arthritis. I worked my questioning along that line but was unsucessful for the most part because the jeep's stereos were turned up so loud that she couldn't hear me!! :( But I got some measure of satisfaction when I told her my impression and she said that was what the doctors in UST told her. :D Yahoo!!! :)
So now I sit here feeling pretty good about myself not because i was able make the right diagnosis (that's chicken feed, any idiot would know arthritis!), but because I was able to build a good rapport with the patient. I know what I did was nothing much, but we need these little victories in life that boost our morale to keep us going. :)
Its not what you know, its what you BOTHERED to know..
Monday, June 27, 2005
After 10 years.....
I went to Mobile1 in Makati today to pick up my membership card and I thought I'd squeeze in a few downloads while I was there. :) However, when I got there, the sole computer dedicated for Pocket PC Downloads was occupied by another member. So I had no choice but to sit my butt on one of their comfy chairs and wait for my turn. (Buti nga kamo they had comfy chairs) As luck would have it, I sat there for what seemed like an eternity... Luckily they also offered free WiFi access so you wouldn't get bored. But after a few unsucessful attempts at blogging (yes, i wanted to post one while I was there), I grew kinda restless and just sat there. Sadly, the downside of using WiFi with mobile devices is that not all the sites you want to go to are compatible with your web browser version. :( sigh.. So i was just sitting there, thinking about what a great waste of time it was (remember, I haven't finished studying yet.. see previous post..), when at long last, the guy finally stood up and it was my turn! Hallelujah!!! =P
It wasn't a very productive download day. I only got a handful of EBooks (Netter, Harrisons 16th, etc) coz the files were so big and took so long to download!! But the most important thing I was able to download was the program called Pocket Slides, which is essentially Powerpoint for the Pocket PC. :D That's cool..
Now for the gripes.. I wish Mobile1 would get another computer to accomodate the multitudes of PPC-toting members so we wouldn't have to wait so long just to get a handful of downloads.. Sayang talaga sa oras.. Those guys on Palm have it easy. They've got two computer stations for their downloading pleasure.. Its just not fair! =P
It's amazing. I never thought I'd find myself blogging at a regular basis, especially in the middle of the schoolyear. =P I find it kinda therapeutic actually. At least now I have some kind of creative outlet to defeat the overwhelming madness that is medical school. hehehe :)
Oh, and by the way, I'm almost done with my readings. I guess a little proper time management and determination to get things done will really go a long way.. ;)
It wasn't a very productive download day. I only got a handful of EBooks (Netter, Harrisons 16th, etc) coz the files were so big and took so long to download!! But the most important thing I was able to download was the program called Pocket Slides, which is essentially Powerpoint for the Pocket PC. :D That's cool..
Now for the gripes.. I wish Mobile1 would get another computer to accomodate the multitudes of PPC-toting members so we wouldn't have to wait so long just to get a handful of downloads.. Sayang talaga sa oras.. Those guys on Palm have it easy. They've got two computer stations for their downloading pleasure.. Its just not fair! =P
It's amazing. I never thought I'd find myself blogging at a regular basis, especially in the middle of the schoolyear. =P I find it kinda therapeutic actually. At least now I have some kind of creative outlet to defeat the overwhelming madness that is medical school. hehehe :)
Oh, and by the way, I'm almost done with my readings. I guess a little proper time management and determination to get things done will really go a long way.. ;)
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Manila Day, Unproductivity, and the NBA Finals..
It's the first day of a long weekend down the drain, and I just wasted it! Damn!! Yup, its Manila Day, and that means NO SCHOOL! :D I really thought I'd get some work done, but as I look over to my left and see the pile of handouts/xerox I haven't read plus the list of unchecked things that I haven't done, I couldn't help but say to myself: "Dude, where'd the day go?''...
A chunk of it was spent watching the NBA Finals. Hats off to both teams. It was a great, hard-fought series! First Game 7 in 11 years!!! And it went down the wire!! :D It can't get any better that that! I was rooting for Detroit though.. :P However, I won't take anything way from the Spurs, 'coz the winner of a series like this truly deserves to be called a CHAMPION! :D
I knew it was too good to last... The forum I put up for our batch in medicine is barely hanging on by a thread(pun not intended).. It prospered beautifully over the summer, being supported by roughly a dozen active members. But as the schoolyear drew nearer, the postings stopped coming and the entire thing just grinded to a halt.. Oh well..
You might ask: If you're so flustered about being unproductive today, then what are you doing online now? Shouldn't you be studying or something?"
Well, to you tell the truth, I was already trying to get some sleep when, after tossing and turning for quite a bit, I found out that I couldn't. So here I am barely awake clacking away at the keyboard, and no, I'm in no shape to study! =P The past week left me just totally drained.. And I know I'm not the only one.. I dunno if it's because we're adjusting to the heavier workload or our bodies and minds still aren't used to studying after that long relaxing summer break (sigh!). Honestly, I felt that my body would break in half last night 'coz I was SOOO tired when I got home. My back hurt really bad, and I could barely stand straight when i tried to get up from bed.
It's getting pretty late. I better turn in while the getting's good. I'm gonna try get up early to swim tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll be able to do it weekly so I could stay fit and sharp throughout the schoolyear..
A chunk of it was spent watching the NBA Finals. Hats off to both teams. It was a great, hard-fought series! First Game 7 in 11 years!!! And it went down the wire!! :D It can't get any better that that! I was rooting for Detroit though.. :P However, I won't take anything way from the Spurs, 'coz the winner of a series like this truly deserves to be called a CHAMPION! :D
I knew it was too good to last... The forum I put up for our batch in medicine is barely hanging on by a thread(pun not intended).. It prospered beautifully over the summer, being supported by roughly a dozen active members. But as the schoolyear drew nearer, the postings stopped coming and the entire thing just grinded to a halt.. Oh well..
You might ask: If you're so flustered about being unproductive today, then what are you doing online now? Shouldn't you be studying or something?"
Well, to you tell the truth, I was already trying to get some sleep when, after tossing and turning for quite a bit, I found out that I couldn't. So here I am barely awake clacking away at the keyboard, and no, I'm in no shape to study! =P The past week left me just totally drained.. And I know I'm not the only one.. I dunno if it's because we're adjusting to the heavier workload or our bodies and minds still aren't used to studying after that long relaxing summer break (sigh!). Honestly, I felt that my body would break in half last night 'coz I was SOOO tired when I got home. My back hurt really bad, and I could barely stand straight when i tried to get up from bed.
It's getting pretty late. I better turn in while the getting's good. I'm gonna try get up early to swim tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll be able to do it weekly so I could stay fit and sharp throughout the schoolyear..
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Third Year blues...
Wow ha! It's been quite some time since i last posted anything.. I just saw Reg's blog and thought, what the hell! If he can do it, i can too! =P
We're now roughly two weeks into the schoolyear. I'd have to say we got a kick out of coming back to school, with our NEW V-NECK uniforms and all. =D Its amazing how much respect a uniform can command around the campus, one that has UPPERCLASSMAN written all over it.. hehe.. power trip..
But surely enough, the novelty soon wore off, and we were once again exposed to the daily grind of a medical student's life. And believe me, the 3rd year workload is no joke! We're in school monday to friday the whole day from 7am. Having about a dozen subjects doesn't help either.. =P At least I've discovered a better way to manage my time (finally) and hopefully i'll be able to maintain this level of efficiency throughout the year.. (coz if i don't, then I'm DEAD!)
I watched Batman Begins last Sunday with the family. Good movie. At first I was apprehensive about watching another hero flick, 'coz a guy can only take so much! To my surprise, it didn't disappoint, and I'd probably go as far to say that it's a better movie than Episode 3. No offense to all the Star Wars fans out there (as i am also one of them), but for me, I feel that it's a better stand-alone movie than EP3. Sure the movie (EP3) was great and the visuals were nothing short of fantastic. But i feel that the main strength of the Star Wars franchise is the continuity aspect, and that hyped things up so much for EP3 that i felt kinda lost in all the hoopla..
I know i'm not making much sense, so let me just say that I expected a great movie with EP3 and got what i came for. But with Batman I was expecting NOTHING and came out of the cinema in total EXHILARATION.. ;)
That's all for now. I'll try to keep the updates going.. :)
Oh, and by the way, I'd like to welcome the Freshmen of UST Med batch 2009!!!!
Be afraid, be very afraid.... bwahahaha!!
We're now roughly two weeks into the schoolyear. I'd have to say we got a kick out of coming back to school, with our NEW V-NECK uniforms and all. =D Its amazing how much respect a uniform can command around the campus, one that has UPPERCLASSMAN written all over it.. hehe.. power trip..
But surely enough, the novelty soon wore off, and we were once again exposed to the daily grind of a medical student's life. And believe me, the 3rd year workload is no joke! We're in school monday to friday the whole day from 7am. Having about a dozen subjects doesn't help either.. =P At least I've discovered a better way to manage my time (finally) and hopefully i'll be able to maintain this level of efficiency throughout the year.. (coz if i don't, then I'm DEAD!)
I watched Batman Begins last Sunday with the family. Good movie. At first I was apprehensive about watching another hero flick, 'coz a guy can only take so much! To my surprise, it didn't disappoint, and I'd probably go as far to say that it's a better movie than Episode 3. No offense to all the Star Wars fans out there (as i am also one of them), but for me, I feel that it's a better stand-alone movie than EP3. Sure the movie (EP3) was great and the visuals were nothing short of fantastic. But i feel that the main strength of the Star Wars franchise is the continuity aspect, and that hyped things up so much for EP3 that i felt kinda lost in all the hoopla..
I know i'm not making much sense, so let me just say that I expected a great movie with EP3 and got what i came for. But with Batman I was expecting NOTHING and came out of the cinema in total EXHILARATION.. ;)
That's all for now. I'll try to keep the updates going.. :)
Oh, and by the way, I'd like to welcome the Freshmen of UST Med batch 2009!!!!
Be afraid, be very afraid.... bwahahaha!!
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