Plans

There are those rare instances in your life when an event, or an emotion elicited by an event is so strong, it kind of just hits you and makes you step back for a moment and wonder what the hell you are trying to accomplish at present.

I shall not discuss the event that transpired which ultimately resulted in this blog entry. Rather, I would like to discuss the nature of my current state..

“Planning ahead”, two simple words that may seem so ordinary, so plain, and yet they hold so much significance. On the battlefield, a well-laid plan may spell the difference between total victory or an overwhelming defeat. A builder uses plans to ensure the proper construction of whatever structure he intends to erect. Even a physician utilizes plans of treatment to tackle the management of different diseases.

We use plans in our daily lives. It may be as complex as the examples stated above, or as simple as a mother making a to-do list for the day a driver visualizing a route to his destination, or a student deciding on which topic to study first.  Whether it’s a short-term or long-term goal, plans are an inescapable part of our nature

Alas, no plan is perfect, and even the best-laid plans can be undone. An overlooked minor detail may bring about disaster, depending on the nature of the goal intended by the plan. Which is why the wise make contingencies, backups that can be utilized in the event that their perfect masterpiece somehow goes awry. This is why ships are designed to have lifeboats, fighter pilots are given parachutes, and cars are constructed with seatbelts and airbags.

But what if one blindly decides not to make a contingency plan? What if that person puts so much faith In his perceived plan that he or she makes no allowance for failure? What if there is no “Plan B”? What then?...

I went through a period like this when I dropped out of pre-residency some 8 months ago. I was so adamant that I would stick to the path I laid out before myself: (Med school > Internship > Boards > immediate Residency) that I never thought of what other alternatives  I might explore should my original plan falter. It was an unpleasant experience. When I decided to stop for the meantime, I saw all my plans crumbling down. I was scrambling for alternatives, thinking about options I would never really have considered in my normal state. I lucked out in the fact that the family was very supportive and I somehow got back on track (while actually living life for a change :D). Thus it came to be that I’m sitting here now, typing away, during what would arguably be the most productive year of my life.

I now have a new plan, of course, but it seems more flexible than the first. I finally listened to the advice of my folks to just “let things flow”. At first it seemed a bit too carefree for my overly uptight nature, but this vacation does things to you.. ;)

It seems like such a nice story, right? I mean, everything came around full circle, and I’m presently preparing myself to get back on the path to being “all that I can be” as a physician, but as we say in Medicine, there may be more than one pathology involved…

Recent events have brought me to question the very core of my plans for the future. No, I’m not talking about where to have residency or what program I should enter. I’m talking about stuff that would define my practice of Medicine as a whole, things that could spell the difference between living a life happy and content, or one filled with longing and regret. All of this is hinged on just one apparently simple decision, and the decision is influenced by one simple fact… a fact that I made absolutely no contingencies for in case anything goes wrong.. And therein lies my folly..